Me — My Ship is Sinking.

Two days ago I talked about procrastination. Well, on a not unrelated note here I am wanting to go to bed but writing instead simply because I forgot to do this earlier. One of these days I am going to actually forget and be quite upset. Anyways, I’m already quite tired, so today, by necessity, is going to be a little nonsensical. Sorry!

Remember how I said I was super stressed? It’s sort of weird. I don’t know how to handle it. It seems to be worst when I am either doing something important while ignoring something else important (obviously I can’t focus on two things at once), or while I’m not doing anything. If I’m at school I’ll be worrying about how I’m not learning anything and I’ll be anxious to get to the next class just so the day can be over so I can do homework. Conversely, when I’m laying in bed, I’ll be worried about how much I still have left to do. Obviously it shouldn’t get in the way of sleep, though, but when I am in one of those fits of overwhelming stress I do admit I can lose sleep. There’s no winning here.

The worst part is I’ve decided everything I’m doing is simply too important to put down. I can’t put down school. I can’t put down my improv troupe (I’m responsible for it, and letting go of it would mean losing too much of who I’ve become). I can’t stop writing. But all of those things together are too much! So what do I do?

Why, plan to be the dungeon master of two simultaneous Dungeons & Dragons campaigns of course. What’s worse, one of them is destined to fail from the start. It’ll have a party of seven-ish, half of whom have never played D&D before. Why do I do this to myself?

I mean, mostly I love being a creator, and DM’ing allows for that to happen. I can create my own world and story and have people experience it at the same time. Win-win! So it is sort of a way to enjoy myself. The only problem with it is that being a dungeon master is a lot of work. Not to mention that if I’ll be handling so many people, it’s going to be nigh impossible for people not to get bored “waiting their turn” (though I don’t plan on having oodles of combat).

The worst part is, this is only going to get worse. I’m not sure the podcast is ever going to happen, so I don’t think I have to worry about that. But with October comes new trials. Registration for the Spring semester is in October (meaning I’ll have to decide how large a work load I want to take), Halloween is in October, and I’ve done almost no shopping for my costume pieces. Not to mention we have at least one improv show that month.

Will Kollin survive the trials of Committing-Suicide-Due-to-the-Sheer-Amount-of-Responsibilities? Stay tuned!

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